If you often pick up the energy of people and places and carry it home with you, you may be strong in one side of energy sensitivity and still developing the other.
Picture two friends, Clara and Daniel, leaving the same funeral on a gray afternoon.
Clara felt it the moment she stepped into the chapel: a weight settling on her chest, a sadness that seemed larger than her own. She noticed the tension between two cousins before anyone had said a word. She sensed which corner of the room felt cold and which felt calm. By the time the service ended, she was exhausted.
Daniel, standing beside her, felt very little. He was sad for the family, of course, but the room itself told him nothing special. If you had asked him whether he was a sensitive person, he would have laughed and said no.
That evening, the difference between them became even clearer.
Clara went home and couldn’t shake the heaviness. She made tea, took a shower, tried to read. Nothing helped. The feeling wasn’t exactly hers. She had taken on the heavy energy of the room, and it had followed her home like a coat she couldn’t take off. Finally, she did what she had always done: she went to bed early, hoping sleep would wash it away.
Daniel, meanwhile, had noticed a slight tightness in himself on the drive home. It wasn’t much. But years earlier, out of curiosity, he had learned a simple practice of working with his own energy, and he did it almost without thinking. A few minutes later, he felt like himself again. He cooked dinner and called his sister.
Which of Them Is More Sensitive to Energy?
Most people would say Clara. And in one sense, they would be right. Clara has a remarkable capacity for perceiving. Information reaches her easily, through her body, her emotions, and the atmosphere of a place. She notices what others miss. Many people who describe themselves as empaths are, in fact, strong on this perceiving side.
But Daniel has something Clara hasn’t developed yet: the capacity for controlling, meaning the ability to do something with his own energy. To steady himself, to clear what doesn’t belong to him so that he doesn’t keep absorbing other people’s energy, and to shift his state deliberately instead of waiting for time or sleep to do it for him.
Both are expressions of the same natural ability, one that everyone has to some degree, to interact with energies and with the non-physical dimensions of life. And both matter. Clara’s gift, without the ability to act, leaves her carrying the weight of every room she enters. Daniel’s steadiness, without finer perception, means he may miss signals that could guide him. It’s a bit like the difference between seeing the road clearly and knowing how to steer. You need both to travel well.
What I have learned, after many years of accompanying people in this work, is that most of us lean naturally toward one side. Neither one is better. Each person has a personal way of perceiving and responding, and understanding your own pattern of energy sensitivity is far more useful than any general rule about who is sensitive and who isn’t.
Learning to Release Energy That Isn’t Yours
A few months later, Clara asked Daniel how he always seemed to recover so quickly. He showed her what he did. It felt strange to her at first, almost too simple. But the next time she walked into a heavy room, she noticed the weight arrive, and this time she didn’t just carry it. She did something about it.
Her perception didn’t diminish. It simply stopped costing her so much.
Are You More Like Clara or Daniel? A Simple Self-Check
Think back to the last time you walked into a place that felt charged, tense, or sad. Did you notice it right away, perhaps even before you understood why? Did the feeling stay with you long after you left?
Or think of the last time you felt off balance. Were you able to change your state while you were still there, or did you mostly wait for it to pass?
If Clara’s story feels familiar, perception is probably your stronger side. If you recognized yourself in Daniel, you likely have a natural ease with control. Many people are a mix, with one side more developed than the other, and that is exactly what makes it worth observing.
Ideally, we would all have a perfect balance, but usually one side is stronger in each of us. So here is one point I’d like you to keep in mind: Know yourself, Honor your Truth, and remember that it is possible to develop both. Perceiving and controlling can be trained like any other ability.
One technique I developed for this is VELO® (Voluntary Energetic Longitudinal Oscillation), a practice that helps you clear, balance, and gain more conscious control over your own energy. If you’d like to experience it, you can try VELO® with my free introductory guided video.
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